Bad Boys VS Geeks

Lightning strikes, lighting up the dark night sky. The rumble of thunder follows suit, breaking the silence of the night. A scene of unspoken beauty lies before me. A girl screams, unprepared for the clash of thunder. A mother shouts. I’m in my room, protected from the stormy night, yet every part of me wanted to be in that rain. Raindrops splatter on the roof, almost melodious. If we allow ourselves to listen properly, with our hearts, we can hear a whole orchestra playing on the night of every storm. I’m all alone, as I was before the storm, and which is how I will be long after the storm has calmed. The neighbour’s door slams shut, the sound of a car alarm goes off, spoiling the music of the night. The alarm continues ringing in my ear, loud and unfading.

The storm lasts for eternity, yet to me it ended only too soon. I let myself be washed away by the rain. I drown in the raindrops, I’m blown away by the harsh winds. The storm ends. I remain silent. Part of me has left together with the storm. Just like the storm, my presence is impermanent. I rage for an hour and I get an hour’s attention and then I am gone. No longer seen, no longer heard and no longer noticed.

dani

There is one pain I often feel, which you will never know. It is caused by the absence of you.

dani

i’ve never been a person to really discuss my feelings.. yes, if i’m close to you i do tell why i dislike a person and sorts like that… but i’ve nvr been one to discuss feelings that are associated with me… i’ve always felt vulnerable for feeling the way i do… and sometimes i want so badly to tell my close friends how i’m feeling so that they can make it all better… they may not take the pain away but they can take my thoughts of the pain… but i can’t… i’m trying to at least.. i make the effort with some people… of course to them, i’m keeping too much stuff awya from them, hiding my feelings… they feel that they tell me more than i ever tell them… but what they don’t understand is that i’m trying my very best… i can’t just do it all in one day… i can’t change like that… i need time… i need space.. don’t push me… but i guess it’s kinda unfair to them as well… so what do u get when that happens and they get fed up of asking you what’s wrong all the time? they either push you away or they walk out… and the worse part… they were the ones you told most to… so now that they’ve walked out… who are you to talk to? you’ve got to start all over again… and it makes it so much worse because now u’ve been hurt by the ones you trust most.. it’s never easy to trust again… to let yourself be vulnerable again…

i’m trying. give me time.

help me. i’m in pain.

dani

Henry Ward Beecher:

It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. So to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship.

Martin Luther King Jr.:

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.

Goethe:

Treat a man as he is, he will remain so. Treat a man the way he can be and ought to be, and he will become as he can be and should be

dani

2 more papers to go and i can say i am officially done with AS work… wheee…. imagine this:

no more statistics! no more GP!

okaylah i might miss the Gp and all… but then… no more essay writing… unless of course i screw up my papers this time and then i’d have to retake those papers again.. which will suck big big big time…

but i don’t really have reason to celebrate although i only have two more papers to go and my month long exams will be over… because the day right after my paper, classes resume as normal… back to 8.30 classes and maths lessons which bore the hell outta me… i cannot believe my exams started on the 16th of oct and only now am i going to be done with them… i can still rememebr the moment right before i went in for my maths paper… wow…

i have to say honestly i cannot wait to be back in penang… just because i get to see my friends… i miss them lah… who asked all of you to go so far away??? idiots.. :p assy doo, i cannot believe i finally heard your voice after almost a whole year! it was funnn…. (note to irin: you are also free to call me… :p i misss uuuuuuuu)

au revoir people, it is back to the books, and of course the subject is BIOLOGY…

dani

ps: my paper is on monday, and only now am i opening the stupid bio text book