Okay, wow. Reality is finally bashing me on the head and man, it hurts.
I was fine with the whole leaving-friends thingie.. cuz y’know I had lotsa time left right? Wrong! NOW it’s hitting me.. I shall not be seeing them for a whole year! I mean sure, we’ll communicate through email and junk but IT’S NOT THE SAME.
Email and the other various forms of communication available now, while amazingly sophisticated, can only go so far. It’s not the same as talking to someone face to face. Seeing their reactions as you tell a story, seeing their expressions as they tell you something.
I know, I know. The super-web-savvy people out there are probably saying.. “webcam, dude!” and “SKYPE”. Hah. Big freaking deal. But I’m telling ya, it’s not the same.
And so my friends are leaving. I shall be leaving. It works both ways, y’know. You leave people and they are left by you. Both sides feel the loss.
Whoa.. I’m surprisingly maudlin at this point. Anyways, it’s mainly because I have seen these people (my friends) more than 7 hours a day, five days a week, 10 months a year for the past five years. We also see each other during holidays, on weekends.. it’s freaky when you calculate all that time and put it into digits. It’s an incredibly huge amount of time.
And then suddenly it’s all ending. I see some of my friends once a week. And soon I shall not be seeing them at all. It’s drastic, doncha think? From 5 days a week and sometimes 6 to just once a week or non at all. Even nicotine addicts don’t get off the wagon that quickly. They’d go into withdrawal.
It’s a boring life though. at this moment. Everyday just blurs into the next. I get my dates mixed up, cuz I’m not in school anymore. (School means you have to write dates on every piece of work you do, therefore ensuring my exact knowledge of what day it is) I’m not studying. I’m online and in front of the TV.
I wanna start studying. And I can’t believe I’m saying this even as I read my words on this screen. Whoever knew I’d say that??
And so I am leaving because I am bored. But I shall also regret leaving many people here.
My family for one. Cuz while sometimes I just wanna kill the lot of them… they have their moments.. when we all get along.
I’m tired. I shall end this embarassingly mawkish tirade right here.
Just for the record.. this was written under the influence of too much chocolate (read: caffeine) and too little sleep.
I shall not be responsible for this entry when I have regained my senses.
Good night/morning.
Ass
The title was George Saunders' dying words.
ANASTAAAA!!!!!!
“And so my friends are leaving. I shall be leaving. It works both ways, y’know. You leave people and they are left by you. Both sides feel the loss.”
Well if you ask me, I think it’s nice to be one of those people who are LEAVING, otherwise you’d just be one of those people witnessing EVERYONE ELSE leave one by one and it sucks pretty bad, coz everyone’s kinda left except you..at least for now..
But yeah, sad huh? It’s difficult to see everyone at once and all that, hard to express a proper ‘goodbye-havefun-keepintouch’ and all that.
But hey, I think life’s getting interesting! For the leavers, especially, I’m psyched for u people, in a way..its real cool.
Just dont be gay and all.
u know wat i mean lah.
Although skype, msn and all is just NOT THE SAME…something’s definitely better than nothing…
soooo.
yeah, thats wat i have to say, for now.
FINALLY u did an entry!
Comment by gggggggg — January 26, 2006 @ 6:13 pm
Haha.. thanks gg. Nice loooong comment.
But, yeah.. something IS better than nthg.
Comment by dsass — January 27, 2006 @ 4:22 am